This band, this heart

When times past, and you stumble upon a forgotten favorite.
When you get tired.
When you really just need a hug.
And to be reminded you are doing better than your best. 
When you are homesick for a home unknown.
Its constant.
When there is nothing wrong,
there is too much to be grateful for
but when you really just need to be....
Be still. 


In this moment

Is it weird, that at times, I feel ageless. 
I am not old, I am not young. 
I am just wrapped in a day, a moment of time. 
All of which can tell me, to the very second how "old" I am. 
On days like these I feel, Forever. 
There's not a stop and start, just on a constant cycle. 
But then there's moments I feel I have earned my scars, my bruises and place.
Yet my number  Age doesn't quite add up. 
Its been hard at times. 
The search for safety. 
You see, I plan to make something of myself. 
I have a simple yet complex urgency for life. 
I want my children in a home open to question and discovery, to not fear but explore with bliss.
I want to fall asleep one day, knowing, I finally reached my goal. 
Life is as beautiful as I dreamt it, and I never thought it was possible.
 My mind never stops, ... It's like a speeding flash of life, simple moments, and emotions thrown into a beautiful accident.



for now

I believe in feeling things whole heartedly
I believe honesty isn't always the best policy 
and that your mind creates the inevitable
I believe pain is the truest form of reinventing yourself 

I believe you fan your own flame 

I believe in ever after, after the after
and that love doesn't conquer all 
but more importantly
 is worth it. 


Breathing deeper

We all have something that built the root of us
Why we are the way we are.
Why we see the world in a particular way.
Do you notice the canopy of light embracing the room?
Do you notice the way a vintage book store smells?
Do you notice how beautiful twilight looks in a rear view mirror?
My constant craving since I was a child was a need for a safe place
a quiet place....
somewhere real but equally magical.
I believe the most beautiful things in life are not fairy tales but creating moments that stain your very soul with emotion.
Something that lingers, something unforgettable and feeds the root of who you are.
I want those marks forever. Its my story, its who I am.
Breathing is a funny thing.
We do it all day, every single second without even thinking.
Its natural, something hardwired in us all.
My heart tends to race.
It can be scary in moments. Its something I have grown custom too.
Shortness of breath ... always trying to take a deeper one.
Trying to find my safe place, my calm place.
When you burst into tears for no valid reason besides just wanting your heart to slow.
A desperate need to create some sort of distance between you and that feeling.
breath, deeper... be still
That same constant craving for a safe place is also what fuels the most beautiful and creative side of me.
I see things. Things I feel most people neglect. 
The forgotten beauty and connections of love.
The real reason we are even here.
Its a balance