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12.19.2012

I would run

Its been awhile since I had a quiet house to myself. 
Alone... 
Just so I can think. 
Its been awhile since I have let my mind just go...run away within itself.
Ive been a little blah these days, maybe its just winter taking its toll on me. 
I have this project I want to do, I hope its as pretty printed as it is in my head. 
There is more to childhood than sidewalk chalk and fruit snacks. 
There is a quietness that gets neglected.
I have a need to photograph stillness.
The wind can blow wild but in those moments, if you can find peace....
its absolutely priceless.
She might not know it fully yet, but she is my best friend.
In those quiet moments with her, I don't see her as a child. 
I see her little spirit. The base that's building her character.
Sometimes the responsibility I feel is overwhelming.
I have the ability to open her eyes, let her learn...
What if I work to much, what if I missed a important moment... what if time just slips past me.
They say fear is a liar but I don't believe that's always true. 
Our nations been buzzing due to the recent trauma in CT. 
I wont lie my heart raced as I sent both my kids off to school Monday morning. 
I asked her if they talked about it in class and she said no. 
So as I explained what happened I watched her eyes grow wide in a sense of panic.
After telling her some things to do in that situation she asked me what I would do. 
I told her I would run. I would run so fast and all she had to do is wait for me.
she smiled and said, I know.
Is it weird to admit I have never been very good at praying. 
I do it often, always have. 
but its strange that I still feel a need to be private with my thoughts, even with god. 
I wonder if he still knows. 

If you can find a path with no obstacles. It probably doesn't lead anywhere.


Typhoon claws part 2
"as long as you're waiting
since you have nothing to do with your hands
you might as well pray
i am no god-fearing man but i am afraid
of something that i cannot quite explain

this marks a vulnerable part of me
i guess it runs in my family
passing the fire down to me
i only fear for my family
i've got it in me
got it in my genes

misery loves company
so careful of the friends you keep

i'm waving the white flag, the fire's ceased
i don't want any enemies"


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