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5.10.2012

constant battle


I am a walking contradiction. 
I am simple yet, so very complicated. I like to think that makes me interesting to some degree but, sometimes it just makes me feel crazy. Im hungry...scratch that, I am starving. Constantly craving something new, something better, anything that will further project the way I see the world and how I photograph it. I understand myself well, I feel like I have a good grip and I have come to terms with the fact I will never win this battle. I will never be content, ever. In some areas of life this isn't a positive trait but in my little world of cameras and words, its a good thing.  Makes me hair pulling crazy but its good. I am no where near the goals I have for myself. Not even close. But that nagging little voice I am constantly battling with assures me, I fight because I need to be something great. I need to do something beautiful and inspiring. This need can literally bring me to tears of frustration. Wanting to translate your heart and what you love into a photograph isnt a easy task. As long as emotions the center of my image I know I will get there...
 
Today I felt like I lost the battle and just said to myself, I quit. 
I dont know which way to go, which project to focus on, what I want to implement next. 
So instead, I sat down on my couch and repeated... I quit.
Im done
I quit
I quit 
I QUIT 
Which in reality means tomorrow I will try harder. 
These moments are just growing pains.....
B

3 comments:

Jason & Kelli West said...

Oh Brooke,
I know you will never quit. What comes out of your mind and gets translated through the camera is amazing. I hope to always see your work around!! :)

Shaylynn... I blahwg n' stuff. said...

I may be a million miles away from knowing The Btog of days ago, but if I know one thing for certain it is this.. you have talent woven through you, you steal the breath with photographs.. it is rare. it is a gift, and I love that you have drive, and know that there still is another way out there to capture beautiful moments, frozen forever.

Linds Forrest said...

You are not alone. We ALL have those days, and those that say they don't are lying. You are amazing and SO talented. And I know we have only offically met once I would give you a big hug and sit with you and drink hot chocoalte and watch Bridesmaids. Take some time and treat yourself. You totally deserve lady!!