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2.16.2012

tis love

My favorite holiday was this week. The one dedicated to all things pink, heart shaped and love infused. I had a little battle with writing a valentines post. I wasn't going to, then I started to and finally I said nah, bag it. The post wasn't coming together as I wanted and it was getting far too long.  It's not as if I have any place giving advice on love, right?  I have a type, a very certain type I am attracted to. Sadly for me, its never the nice guy. Apparently, I like a difficult man, don't get me wrong, I do not search for the most complicated personality in the room and say, "hey baby whats your name." But for me its very clear the kind of guy that satisfies my head and my heart. They simply don't come without a little work, sometimes too much work. There are three types, my type, the nice guy and the brick. My type is nothing to do with looks per say, my type is a personality. Naturally, I have to be attracted but, you get the point. The nice guy is the one you know will settle down nicely but, has no passion. I sort of need a guy who can put me in my place when needed. Not that I'm out of line but, I am a strong personality. The nice guy cannot do this, so the balance would be off. Then there is the brick, what is a brick, you ask? Its when you are out on a date with a guy, attractive sure but, when hes talking to you, trying to sound intelligent while throwing out shallow pick up lines, its almost as if he were a brick. You could pick him up, hold him out and drop him. All you would hear is a clunk and that's it.... there's nothing there of value. This is how I feel most of my dates are. I just hear a lot of noise....clunk clunk clunk. Bricks tend to have little sight of their future and are content with living un motivated, or in never never land. 
I will admit I am part logic and a large part pride, that is until my hearts out and exposed. If I find myself falling, its all down hill from there...or up. I guess its how you look at it. I am not motivated by falling in love. Partly because I rarely let myself become smitten. In fact, I see it as an inconvenience these days. You may being thinking I am not a romantic, but no, no I am. A few (or most) of my friends have been going through some relationship ups and downs, which in return have made me a grateful I don't have to deal with the same stress right now. Love is work and its something you will always have to work at. At this time in my life, he would have to fall into my lap with a flashing neon sign about his head. Maybe the cliche coffee shop pick up could work too ;)
 Something I learned about myself this last month is,  just because I am honest, doesn't mean I am open.
I had some opinions reading all the posts on valentines. I am not trying to be mean, its not that I am cold but, I have always felt this way about relationships. Please ladies, set the bar so high that no mere man can every reach it. Be sure to expect that endorphin rushed passion you felt for the first 4-12 months of your relationship to continue forever. When your prince comes the world will fall to the side, life will be blissful and you will never have low points in your relationship. Don't think for two seconds he will ever get sick of watching you sleep or twirl your hair. All those annoying bad habits will always be endearing, I promise. Also, he will not watch espn every night, instead he will love watching gossip girl with you - que sarcasm :) ... Its not that kisses in the rain shouldn't happen, because they SHOULD. I am a avid believer in taking drives to get lost and calling in sick to snuggle all day. Over all its the person that makes the warm fuzzies, not the grand gestures. If he cant make you blush simply by taking a walk with you and holding your hand, its not real. If he cant make you wanna rip you hair out, screaming mad, its not real either ....
I love snail mail aka letters
I love all things heart shaped
I love breakfast in bed
I love to snuggle
I love love songs
and I love the idea of your one big love.
In reality I love the idea of making someone feel extra special.
I love taking care of someone.
I believe in one big love.
No white horse, no fairytale business,  just a real honest love. The good with the bad....
Thats why valentines is my favorite holiday.
B
ps : dont mind my typos, Im far to lazy to fix them this evening

2 comments:

Ashley B. said...

I'm so glad you posted. I completely agree. I think marriage changes a relationship, not necessarily in a bad way, but it does change. I'm a strong believer that that the spark should never go away, that you should still get butterflies when you hug tightly. The only thing I ever want to Valentine's Day is a letter, a well written, well thought out letter. And that's what I got, and a few other things ;).
Good for you for not settling, too many do.
P.S. I love this song.

Maggy R. said...

Love the post !! totally agree, never settle and say : nah he's not this or that anymore but thats normal or just have ur mister wrong and that s it!
we ' ve been married for almost 9 years next tuesday and besides ups and downs and yellings and fightings :) ( because evrdb needs drama!) he still opens the door of the car for me ( I live that) bring me breakfast at bed smtimes . buy me flowers for no reason and especially not on valenti es day... and still feel butterflies when we cuddle and look at him and think : he's mine :)
defenately not easy and having children even less but he's not nice and not a brick !!!
he's my kind !

good luck in finding ur kind :) when ur ready or when its meant to be , only god knows !!