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(photos by Tavis johnson)


He even let me try my hand at his Polaroid camera. 


I think Im hooked. Im dipping my toes into the film world.


In a week or so, Im jumping in 

After several people repeatedly telling me I need to get on


twitter...


 I finally got on the tweeting bandwagon.


I am still a little unsure how to work it, but I'll learn quick...

If you have any tweeting tips feel free to share :)

B

The Generationals + the movies

This band makes me happy

I wiggle a little in my seat as they play

I am working on braille and gold tonight...

its fulfilling 

B

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side note: I LOVE my hair but, while watching
jake and anne do their thing last night,
anne made me think brown for a split second... she is lovely

Which brings me to this, 

I watched a love story of sorts last night

I have seen parts of it before, but I never finished. I ended up loving it.

Over all it was a mistake...Lets be honest with ourselves, life's rarely like the movies. The only way to be disappointed is for expectations not to be met. I am wondering how low my expectations need to be. We all do it, find characters in movies we relate to, yet some how, our ending isnt quite the same. The entire movie we know what will happen. Something will trigger the realization of what life is all about. It will lead into the epic moment of things left unsaid and the world making sense again. The selfish fears all fall to the side, because there is something bigger at work, truth and love.

Why do we feed our minds with such nonsense.

The truth is, most of us live real love stories and they are nothing like the movies.
Luckily, they can be just as beautiful and rewarding.
I have been doing research, taking notes of peoples stories.

Seems odd and a little silly, right?
 You might be confused about some of the blog post to come.
Dont worry, it will all make sense in time.
There will be a wide range of opinions expressed, some good, some bad.

Im a dreamer and a sucker for the epic moment in movies but, I am real.

Happy wednesday

whistle while you work

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What I am listening to while I edit my life away :)

1:50 in is when the real yumminess begins. The duets beautiful.

Take a listen, you wont regret it

Happy tuesday

B

Drowning sleep

 I loved someone very much once ... For what seemed like eternity, I feared sleep.

This is coming from a girl who was not only a full time mom, but also in the middle of wedding season. I was so petrified of night approaching it consumed me. Something about laying in bed, staring at the celling, knowing you have no control over the faces and story lines of your dreams. The events of my real life somehow only repeated themselves night after night, I couldn't escape it. For weeks, I would wake up hourly in a cold anxious sweat. I had never felt such a heavy state of panic. Thankfully, I began sleeping longer, but there was something about 4 am. I would wake up with my heart racing around 4 am almost every morning. It was awful and daylight brought little relief. Nothing was worse then the realization that it wasn't a nightmare, it was real. My fear of dusk soon shifted to my fear of dawn. Because it was painful to wake up every morning and have to remind myself .... 

Its real
I have to try and smile another day
 I have to let it go
I have to pick up the pieces
I have to keep my focus and make new goals
I have to be immersed in weddings and memories
I have to try to stand up straight and fill this gapping hole in my chest
I have to fight the tightness in my throat
I have to hide the tears so the kids don't see
I cant do it .... I have to do it
I have to feel how much a broken heart hurts.
Having a pity party or melt down was a luxury I didn't have.
Its not a cliche when people say, its like a piece is missing.
Its odd to walk around not whole, almost like you aren't in your own body.
 Its not a matter of a person missing, but its your faith. Faith in a lot of things.
 I felt it at its worst and it will continue to get lighter. Thats how it works, right?
You deal with it when it needs to be dealt with and you can let it go?
I don't wake up every night at 4 am anymore. I dont fear sleep like I used too.
I might still avoid any love based movies, music ect.
I might avoid certain parts of town and restaurants, but I dont fear sleep.
Its getting better and only because I feel whats supposed to be felt.
What happens to the girl...
What happens to the boy...
it doesn't matter, because Im working to let it go.
 This experience fuels me to be better and lights something creative in me.
Something good will come of it. Im stronger that I thought I was
It's still haunting at times, but I am fine

B

Sun child

Here in Utah we finally welcomed summer.

There are lots of days by the pool with my kidlets in the works. Planning our camping trip and enjoying bike rides. We are basking in the warmth, sunblock and snow cones are part of the territory. A moms summer isn't necessarily glamourous but, its just as much fun.

As for a current anthem... who would have thought I could branch out. 

Yes I have rap on my i pod. It makes up my running playlist

"I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold"

B

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AS FOR THE GIVE AWAY

The winner is chosen by random draw 

Lauren said-

"That's a tough one! Adele or Jack Johnson, maybe? Something cool and relaxed but enough pep to make you happy and energized.

I'm not sure if you need an individual comment for each but I've done all three. =)"

Email me at blushbybk@gmail.com to set up your session

Thank you to all who entered and follow the blog. Be watching for more giveaways 

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Magnificent

Despite what you may think, music defines us. It reflects so much of who we are. What if we all had background music that followed us around. Everywhere you go there is a melody playing as you went about your day. For example...

The naive 20 something blonde girl would have Katy Perry playing

The 40 something successful business man would have Miles Davis

The mid 20s boy masquerading as a man would have a mix tape, because he isnt sure who he wants to be yet.

Bon iver - Justin Vernon is my all time favorite artist.

 If I had to chose one musician to play as the background music as I went about my life would be Bon iver.  His new album released today and its amazing. I didn't think it could get any better...
Its magnificent

I am thinking of doing a giveaway again
How about a mini session for FREE!
All you have to do is these three things-

1: Become a follower of this blog.
Feel free to share the link

2: Become a fan on my facebook page.
Be sure to say hello

3: Leave a comment with who would you have playing as your background melody.
 Seriously, tell me

Good Luck!!!!

B

style wise

Style wise I am ever changing, but I have a few constants...

Red nail polish

Shoes will most likely dictate my outfit

and gold will some how be incorporated

B

...
I cant forget your monday melody

Monday

Monday was a good start to a better week.

We went for bike rides, a walk and read books on the grass.

My kids honestly get two baths a day now... that means summers officially here.

B

Defeated

This past week defeated me. I didn't stand a chance against it

B

Happy fathers day to my DAD

 He lives miles and miles away and I wish I could be there to wish him a happy fathers day!

Thank you for raising us like you did

 Love, your only brown eyed girl

whos this little beauty

 This sweet little girl is becoming quiet the writer. She has been keeping a book where she writes songs. While picking up her room I found this written on a piece of paper.... must be one of her older pieces :)

Untitled melody- by Kaitlyn LaRee'

Dont come dance with me

Because we have a problem

But together we can do it,

Because I believe love is all we need

All we have to do is help

We can save this world together

You cant boss me around 

Because there are no bosses in this town

We are in this together our love is all we need

phil....

Yep I chatted with Ty aka phil from modern family friday night. That show and his character make me super happy. I boldly told him a have the biggest crush on him! I must say he was SOO nice.

In other news, prior to meeting up with kim and some friends, I had dinner with these ladies.
Thanks shay for bring your camera. It would have been tragic to meet Phil without a camera.

we are nerdy

unexpected...

 I didnt expect to love this song so much. Not my typical style, but blog worthy none the less.

B

Do you know what its like...

Do you know what its like to think you have your life plan set?

I have to remind myself that theres a new story to write....

the ending will always be the same, but the middle has yet to fall in place.

I have been afraid but never alone

I have felt ashamed 

I have felt safe for a brief moment 

I have been tragically disappointed 

I have been in love... the bad kind

I have been in love... the good kind 

I have been lied too, I have lied to myself 

I have been elated and truly happy 

I have been resentful and angry

I have been completely heart broken

But, 

I will not shy away from the challenge 

I will wait till I am ready

Until I am whole

B

A congratulations post is in order

I just wanted to say how happy I am for one of my oldest friends. Jessica and I met back in 2004 when we were both married to our now ex husbands. We got divorced around the same time and stayed friends through the phases. I have gotten to know Nate better and better and I think he just perfect for her. She told me the proposal story over dinner and I wound up shedding a tear or two over my french fries. They danced in the middle of now where outside their car, to one of their favorite songs...

enjoy 

Her mom wanted some new family pictures. I snapped a few tonight and got to gaze at the amazing ring.... Dyson wasn't having his picture taken tonight and it rained. thank goodness we have engagement photos coming up! 

I dont know what shes pouting about :)
Wishing them the very best. 

xoxo B

one day...

We all have our favorite design blogs, this is one of mine... take a peek

http://www.dreambookdesign.com/

One day I will have a charming humble home with all the personal touches that reflect my family.

I will have exposed brick through out and a mix of industrial and cozy.

I want there to be a gallery feel to it, very eclectic...

I am going to do this picture collage for my living room, cute right?

 I LOVE the mirror and lighting in this next room. Personally I would use warm golden tones vs purple. 

one day.....

B

my sweet girl

Its so strange I have a third grader on my hands. Third grade was the time I started really remembering things from my child hood. I can piece together bits of the younger years, but this ages becomes lucid. I honestly feel so lucky to be her mom. She's sassy, sweet and very smart for her age. I got her final report card back and she's well above average on everything and LOVES reading. Everywhere we go she's packing a new book in her purse. As of late she want to become a singer and a photographer. I think she says she wants to take pictures just to make me feel good :). I love that she is aware of other peoples feelings and wants to be kind. I cant wait to see the kind of women she grows up to be. I Love you kitkat 

Girls night and indian food

Crystal invited me to a little girls night and Im so glad I was able to make it. I have a addiction to Indian food and everyone up north raves about taste of India. I thought it was yummy but I am sticking to my guns and saying star of India in salt lake is better, maybe I am just being loyal :)

It was wonderful to relax and laugh a little. This summers going to be a busy busy wedding season... I need these nights to get me prepped. Thanks ladies it was wonderful

B