Inspire me

Im going to spare you the paragraph about my need to create something big. My need to feel heard and be understood. Atleast for tonight, I will spare you the ups and downs and how my heart feels, but I will share my inspirations. I think I will be sharing a lot within these next few months. I am not always so heavy, honestly, I am not. I am vibrant and witty with a touch of passion, but yes... I am more expressive these days, and for my own sanity I express myself. Enjoy the things that are keeping me grounded, the post may be far to many, but its all part of the process. Possibilities are endless and thankfully Im my most creative and driven under a little grit. Its a merry go round, the key is finding that spot to focus on so you don't get dizzy. 

I have a few girl crushes and alison is one of them. enjoy

here is another favorite melody of hers, although you can never pick just one

I even saw her live once. It was 2008 but still....
B

Project #1

Do you believe in fate?

Do you believe in that whole karma thing....

Do you believe your fears will dictate your outcome?

Here is a peek at the inspiration for the first project of Braille and gold.

Its hands down my favorite song as a adult and has been for many years now.

It holds a lot of meaning to me ..... the violin at the end tugs at my heart

xoxo

 B

Seen and heard

Seen:

I love Ryan Reynolds and I love the plot of the movie.
Instead of me keeping my "sticky notes" maybe ill upgrade to note cards :)

and heard:

This songs so so sweet.... mmm

Happy sunday

B

the melody for my weekend

I cant forget to share ...

xoxo

B

apparently we eat a lot

My sweet friend joni is almost due and we cant wait to meet her little one.
Heres a peek of the mini session I did for her.

Food.... I am a girl who likes to eat and I love trying new places, from the fancy new restaurant to the little corner coffee shop. Joni saw the post I had about a neighborhood pizza place and said she had to try it! Since a few ladies missed her baby shower we wanted to treat her to a girls night out.
I LOVE veggie dishes and Zs pizzeria has a killer garlic veggie pizza with a white sauce. I have been hearing Este pizza is better so I will have to report back after we try it.

Only 3 more weeks till we get to meet her little beauty

Court was sweet enough to do a little foot zoning on jonis poor swollen feet.

Afterwards we deiced to tap into our inner child. I have forgotten how much fun trampolines are!!!

But I will say, my bodies not as resilient as it used to be.....

If that outing wasnt enough a few of us moms started getting together at the park for picnics. The last gathering we had was "catered" by star of india which is my newest addiction. I swear they put crack in the coconut shrimp curry dish... SOOOO GOOD.

Over all, this was a lovely week and I am looking forward to a even better weekend.
Happy friday everyone
B

Just another wednesday

Here is a blogger tribute to andrew belle, I think I have a slight crush on him. I adore this duet and I love katies voice in static waves. Its a simple video but oddly one of my favorites. I think its because I have a strong pull to words. When I was younger my parents caved and let me use the walls in my room as a canvas. I covered it in magazine adds, photos and words that inspired me...I shouldn't put so much weight in words, I believe they are nothing more than noise when used alone, but I am a sucker for them none the less.

Happy Happy wednesday to you
B

Braille and Gold

Why do we try to run....

Run from the things that we aren't ready to face up to? It doesn't change our reality, it doesn't shield us from the pain. Its only delaying moving forward. I find it ironic I am a photographer of love. Sometimes I think its cruel I am not able to run like most people can. Don't get me wrong, I whole heartedly love my job. I love seeing people at such a high point in their lives. I tend to cry, always have with wedding world. Wither it the first dance, a fathers toast or simply the way the groom watches his bride with a protective, yet adoring gaze. Think of it like a recovering alcoholic working in a bar...  lately I am thankful my cameras large enough to hide a few tears rolling down my cheek while the music plays. I hope I don't offend former or current clients as I explain, just know I adore weddings and love in general. I think its an honor to give my couples images that depict their love. They will have a tangible reminder of the irrefutable connection between them, that they can get through anything together. I am well aware of the "show."  Its not that the I am belittling the love between the couple, but its the euphoric stage of love. Its the beginning, the dreams are big and the idea of failing is impossible. The toast are always about the bright eyed couple and how perfect they are together. All the sweet stories of boy meets girl, yet only a few people will remind them of the work ahead. I don't think it sinks in that it will be HARD work. Happiness is work, love is work, being a parent is work ... life in general is work. I cant remember where I was, or who told me this, but it was something that stuck with me. We are twice as motivated in working to avoid pain, than working towards happiness. I am confident if you think about your recent choices, you can agree its a true statement. Sometimes I find myself running. Im okay 84% of the time, but there are moments I have no choice, but to sprint away from the daunting feeling looming. I just need to hide and take an hour to breathe, recoup so I can have the gumption to keep up the pace of my life. I know the work will pay off.

Which brings me to my latest project, I can not wait to see how it unfolds. I am finally getting my coffee table book and my etsy shop going. My ideas, my heart and every piece of me will be poured into the images. Im working on the story lines daily. It will not be a easy task, it will take time...
 but it finally has a name...

Braille and Gold 

wish me luck
B

Simple sundays

Currently on repeat, You can thank me after you take a listen

Its happiness for your heart

B

Gals

I told you I would laugh.... ALOT  and I did

I literally have the most amazing friends

LOVE  YOU 

B

Happy wednesday

Hi,

 these glasses are my new favorite thing ... 

fancy, no?

 

I am going out tonight
I am gonna get all dolled up

and more importantly, I am going to laugh... a lot

B

This song makes me happy

"I guess I’m just here for the ride
I swear it feels like I’m dreamin
This vividly defined,yeah"

Tornado

(this song is one million times better in the car and LOUD) 

I LOVED this song from the moment I heard it. It was mid last year and I found myself driving aimlessly with it on repeat. I tend to do that when I am OCD about a melody. I made excuses for taking the long way home, such as... I was looking for locations to shoot ... or there might be traffic if I stuck to the main road...

I feel this need to "reinvent" myself. 

I haven't analyzed it long enough to understand what exactly is fueling it.

I am unsure if its a positive craving or a destructive one.  

Its been very overwhelming, as if I could jump out of my own skin to do it.


I don't want to be complacent in my life, but I want to feel content.

I love the core pieces of myself. I just need change.... 

 I don't think I can ignore it much longer. 

I honestly want nothing more than to be a good mother and wife.

 I want a happy family, a home and I love yous said at night.

 I want to feel inspired and be able to express myself. I want to create beauty....

 I was made for those things. I was meant to be safe and inspired. 

I have moments I struggle having faith.

 I should have more of it, its just easier said than done.

 Like all things in life...

if its worth having, it will most likely be hard.


xoxo
B


Geez, sorry if my blogs heavy for a while. On a lighter note, I got glasses.... 


I feel instantly sophisticated the moment I put them on. lol

Ill post a pic soon. 

Weekend

I had a wedding in Vegas saturday...

The bride is a sweetheart 

The groom adores her....

it was HOT and VERY windy

there were lots of bright lights

... I treated myself to magazines

.... and sushi

 Less than 24 hours later, I flew home to utah for a run.....

and then took some down time

I have been finding running very therapeutic

 All I can feel is my heart and my thighs on fire

I think a masochistic part of me enjoys pushing it harder than I normally would

I am lucid after and I can focus on getting my plans in place

I have said thousands of times, I am a girl who needs to feel things, good or bad

But for the very first time in my life.....

 Id give absolutely anything to feel cold and apathetic

 Unfortunately, Im not that kind of person, blessing and a curse

xoxo 

B

On a side note- manchester orchestra has a new album, I am loving it

This year

"To lose balance for love, is part of living a balanced life." - elizabeth Glibert

This year....

I will get into a studio and further my business to the level I always wanted it to be

I was well on my way last year and got a little distracted....

I will paint, I have been saying this for years...and this year, I will use it as an outlet

I will be the best mom I can be and focus on those two little souls who look to me for everything

I will not fear trust and connection

I will not belittle what once was, but I cannot mourn the loss of an ideal that will never be

I will not be disregarded, disrespected or devalued

I will not look to people that do not matter to validate me

I do not believe selfishness is the way to happiness, but I will take the opportunity to better myself.

I am working to shift my focus, in hopes something beautiful will come of it

xoxo
B

Take a stroll with us

I am finally settled in enough, I felt deserving of a evening stroll around the new neighborhood. 

It was a perfect friday night....

       

  

      

        

I had to post the classic billy photo ...hes not really into pictures :)

xoxo 

B

Todays melody

"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see what you find there,

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair."

I love this song... its raw and simply brilliant writing

 I have always said if I could do anything besides photos, Id write music.

 I can only imagine how fulfilling it would be to express yourself that way. But instead I find other outlets, like my camera and borrowing lyrics that are applicable to my life. 

enjoy my song of the day

side note: There is nothing like a guy and a guitar ..mmm

xoxo

B

Puppy love

My friend crystal is trying to get the word out about a wonderful organization called 

strut your mutt

Be sure to check them out and spread the word

At the very core of all the work of No More Homeless Pets in Utah and Best Friends Animal Society is the dream that one day kindness will replace cruelty, and animals will no longer be destroyed because they are unwanted or imperfect. Spaying and neutering will become commonplace, and adoption will be the first choice for everyone. Shelters will have the knowledge and resources to help rehabilitate special-needs animals and find the right family for every animal. Making this dream a reality is the mission we call No More Homeless Pets®.

A filler post

Who doesn't love random filler post. 

I think a part of me is trying to separate new from the old.
Almost as if, I can distance myself from the change if I let that part of my life become filed in the archives. I don't believe in erasing blog posts, but I am looking forward to a fresh start.
There was a twist in my story a few weeks ago, one I didnt see coming, but its okay. I will light heartily address the topic one of these nights so I quit getting emails with questions. Just know, I am a tough girl and good at this kinda thing. I am thankful for so much and focus on the things in life I can control.

Here are a few melodies I have on repeat lately

I ADORE Lykke Li, always have, always will.

I am really loving her new album, and this song in particular

A friend showed me this song and oddly enough I really like it. I am NOT a rap kinda girl...but I made a exception for this one

 This ones delish....

 The whole album start to finish....mmmm

Last but not least.... the one and only Adele...

Happy Thursday everyone

B