The gown

You know that feeling you get when you leave a wedding reception. The hazy day dreamy rush of new love.... wondering how your story would play out or if it was even possible to find that perfect person.  I LOVED going to receptions as a girl and you would think with my profession I would become jaded to the effect. Well I am far from jaded and I want to be sure I set the right mood with ours.  I know what I want my guest to feel and how I want us to remember the day, but I never knew there were so many factors that played a role. To say I am a tad bit stressed is a understatement. Thankfully I have Stevens mom (Marylynn) and sister(Lindsay) to help since my family doesn't live in utah! I figured I would share the planning process on my blog so my family wont have to call me daily to get the "latest and greatest" as they call it. 

 The Gown

 The day I got engaged we headed straight over to the perfect dress bridal shop. I had my vision for myself set and thought it would be a piece of cake, we would be in and out and I would have my dress. Nobody ever warned me how exhausting trying on dresses was. I began not even caring what the dress looked like once it was finally on. What I wanted, lacy, soft, romantic yet formfitting, I wanted to feel alluring and iridescent in my dress....it had to be me.  I tried on 15 plus dresses and was SICK OF IT. They were lovely dresses but I was beginning to think I would have to talk myself into choosing one, and I did. It was a darling dress and it was one of the only ones that would fit my problem area aka my chest. Making a dress temple worthy isnt always a easy task. This dress needed a lot work for me to feel like I could call it mine. It was a baby doll dress with box pleats,a bubble hem and beading on top. I liked it but I was talking myself into it. Thankfully marylynn could tell I wasnt giddy about the gown despite what I was saying....I began checking out mentally. Plus I had the thrill of just getting engaged. My phone was blowing up and it was extremely hard to focus. Lindsay grabbed one and said try this, I raised a brow and said uh ok but what I was really thinking was... holy crap this dress is HUGE no thanks. Sure enough I walked out and it was perfect. It was nothing that I had in mind but it was me 100%. Not a single bead or piece of lace is on the dress but it speaks volumes. I now get to walk into my closet, see it hanging and get a rush of excitement for when I will finally wear it. Sadly for all of you, I have been threaten by Lindsay that if I post groomals before the wedding day I will indeed die. :) It ruins the fun for those going to the temple I guess, so you will have to wait till after october 1st

xoxo B

ear candy

A personal favorite for listening with windows down and a desolate road

must be in the air here

xoxo 

B

red white and blue

The fourth of july landed on a sunday. Which in utah means you get saturday and sunday full of firework fun.

We spent our weekend weekend with friends in parkcity  

xoxo 

B

Lets be big girls now

Everyday we have choices, we can choose to let things go 

be offended 

be happy

be honest

be a good friend

be competitive 

and the list goes on.....

As for me today I chose to,

 A: work myself up 

B: be offended 

C: debated on being competitive 

and thankfully

D: choosing to hold my tongue...kinda

Instead I will blog

I dont understand why girls get so competitive. Scratch that, I do understand why girls get that way because I myself have been guilty of it. I like to be the best and thats not always a positive trait of mine. I am gonna spare you the details but share my thoughts. 

 I despise passive aggressive behavior, I despise people being so immature they cant address a situation like grown ups. Maybe its not immaturity, maybe its fear of conflict or maybe.... JUST MAYBE they know deep down they are being so absolutely ridiculous about the situation and have nothing to defend their behavior . I understand that I am being bold on my accusation, but thats because I am that confident in my stance. There have been a series of events over the last few weeks and a lack of communication that lead to my breaking point today. At first I took a text I received as a joke, but quickly realized she was far from kidding. I was confused wondering why she was acting like this. Then I was hurt, the hurt began flip flopping with anger.

 I mean , why wasn't she just happy for me. Why did it matter to her and it wasn't going to effect her in any way! What are we 15 again??? I didn't realize until today that she does indeed think the world revolves around her.

  

Sorry to burst your pretty pink bubble my dear, but it doesn't. 

There were so many factors that played a part in my decision making that had nothing to do with you.

In fact I went out of my way to make sure there was zero conflict with you. 

I tried to communicate these things with you, but you chose to be offended

you chose to be self absorbed

you chose to think I cared about competing with you 

 I still kinda hope you calm down a little and think about what a retarded fit you are throwing...but I am pretty sure I am putting a nail in the coffin of our friendship with this blog post. 

I began wondering why I cared so much. So I am choosing to not let it upset me anymore. I wish we could have talked about this. I know I am not being the bigger person with this post but it is what it is. Let me know if you ever want to get together and watch bride wars. I'll bring the ice cream

yours truly 

B